Though I'm not a stoner, when I’m not at my emotional best, I sure can eat like one. And when I remember there's a can of sweetened condensed milk and some cocoa powder sitting around, they're getting put into my downcast mouth.

Milk Chocolate Glue

Ingredients

1/4 cup sweetened condensed milk

1.5 tbsp cocoa powder

Directions

Mix the stuff together until the lumps are gone. Or don't--at this point, why bother? Lick it off the spoon like the sad Papillon you are.

Try coffee flavor!

Or mocha!

The possibilities end there.

Maybe I should keep a syringe of insulin in the fridge, like an epi pen. For bad feelings-induced diabetes.