Being as dry and flaky as a blue ribbon pie crust, lip balm is a necessity. If you're thinking "It just makes you more chapped, quit it and you won't need it" --do you not think I have tried?? When I purse my lips and draw blood, I know it's time to turn the clock back an hour. If I didn't coat myself in misc. butters and paraffins, this epidermis would be an exoskeleton by Halloween.

But even if I was naturally moist and dewy, I’d still probably overindulge in lip balm. The obsession is almost as old as I am. It all started with a type that came in little sliding tins covered with old-timy graphics. Some of them had 2 (!) different flavors in the same tin. Only one store in town sold them, The Cat's Meow, and when a new flavor was stocked, all the little basic bitches on the playground knew about it.

Yesterday I wandered into Toy Space on 7th Ave, and Ohmahgad. Look what was there.

A brand called Tinte Cosmetics now makes them, but the tin says "Vintage" where "Village" was. They’re smaller than I remember, but in 1983, my hands were smaller too. This version is full of organic skin tenderizers and sweetened with stevia—the originals were probably just Jujubes dissolved in Vaseline. We didn't care as much about what went onto or into our bods in the olden times.

The Rollerball Lip Potion (you probably remember it as Kissing Potion) wasn’t something I remember being into—but impulse purchases must be purchased impulsively, and the sight of the Lip Licking tin made me heady and lose my senses. It’s got that classic overly-fruity, waxy flavor, but it’s also bitter. It could be all that delicious castor oil. Was that part of it's charm? Because it's gross. I'll stick with the Lip Licking, which is gross in name only.

So, to anyone over the age of 40 who lusted over these little gateway drugs, they're back. The hunt is on! Or just go to their website.